I’ve decided to become the benevolent dictator of California. I’ve realized that the US is far to big to save, so it’s going to have to be a state thing. Which is no small task either, given that California is probably bigger than most countries anyway.
First decree of my dictatorship, we follow our Hawaiian brethren (and a part of Arizona) and get rid of daylight savings time. There will be no more falling back. We’ll spring forward in March and stay that way.
That’s an easy one and now that it’s out of the way, it’s time to tackle the real issues. Healthcare, education, and the economy.
I’m going to need to hire a lot of experts, but ultimately I will make the decisions. I have some pretty clear goals, it’s just a matter of making the money work to achieve them.
1. We’re getting universal healthcare. It will be a statewide healthcare system based on the best aspects of nationalized healthcare in Canada and Europe. Conservatives, don’t worry about paying for illegals and uninsured – we already do. I guarantee this will all cost businesses and taxpayers less in the long run.
2. We’re going to need more medical schools and more doctors. We don’t have the infrastructure to support all these newly insured people, so the thousands of qualified applicants that are turned away from medical school admission every year will now get a chance. We’ll probably need more nursing schools as well. Throw a few more of those in there too.
3. Legalize and tax drugs. I’m not sure about all of them, but definitely marijuana. This will bring in additional revenue that we can use for our…
4. Brand spankin’ new amazing education system. No more will we be at the bottom of every list for spending and achievement. I’m taking a cue from France, we will take care of our children from the very beginning. Public day care centers for the tots, public preschool, and quality elementary schools. Vocational classes that teach skills to high school students tied to what businesses actually need. I could really go on and on about all the ways that our educations system will be better, but this post will never end. There will be a lot of very smart people devoted to making sure our education system works for children and families.
5. There will be less people in prisons. It’s going to take some time, possibly even a decade or so, but I’m a dictator, and not worried about reelection, so I’ve got time. With the improved education system, with improved health care (including mental health care), and without all the drug convictions, there’s just going to be less people locked up. This means less money spent on prisons.
6. How will I pay for everything? Well, healthcare will all even out in the wash. When you take out the bureaucracies and inefficiencies of private health insurance and the government run agencies, we can make our money go a lot farther. We might actually save some money in the long run. Which is good because we’ll need it to fix our infrastructure and parks and everything else in this state that’s totally whacked right now. I’ll be honest, even if I’m able to trim a lot of fat, I still might need to raise taxes. We have a lot of work to do in our education system and that’s going to take some cash initially. But, I think the improvement in our collective quality of life will more than make up for the pinch on your pocket. Also, this will be a short term expense. Sort of a spend money to make money theory. We have to invest in our state now, so that we can improve it and pay less taxes later.
7. There’s bound to be problems. I won’t promise perfection right away. But without a squabbling congress, problems can be solved swiftly. Remember I will be hiring lots of experts to keep an eye on things.
So that’s my general plan. Feel free to peacefully stand behind me as I take this big, beautiful state over and make it a shining beacon of what the country should be in the 21st century.